Category: Articles and Sermons

The shofar is one of the world’s oldest musical instruments. It predates the Jewish people by many centuries. One way you can tell its age is because when the Torah says to blow the shofar, it does not have to explain what it is or how to make it. The Torah assumes that everyone knows what it is.

The original purpose of the Shofar was as a signal to the beginning of a war or battle, like a bugler in the American Civil War. It was the sound of victory after defeating the enemy in war.

Judaism understands that wars against our enemies may be necessary, maybe even inevitable. We can and must defend ourselves and our loved ones. War, though, is never holy. We never rejoice at defeat of our enemies, we only offer gratitude for our ability to live without fear.

In Judaism, we have transformed the shofar as an instrument against our external enemies, and instead as a call the war against our worst instincts, against all the things we do, either on purpose or inadvertently, that may bring pain and suffering to others and to ourselves.

The purpose of the shofar changed from announcing a literal war to a metaphorical one, from destruction of others to improving who we are and bringing peace to the world.

When we blow the shofar at the end of Yom Kippur it signifies the celebration of the attempt to win that war. The internal struggle to do better is never over, but we can at least rejoice in our intentions.

May no one ever again believe that war is holy. May the sound of the shofar open hearts around the world, and change hatred into compassion.

 

When I was a little boy I used to sleep over at my grandmother’s house, something I really enjoyed. One night she came out with white cream all over her face. I asked her what it was. She said it was wrinkle cream. I said to her, I thought you already have enough wrinkles. She said, patiently, that it was to get rid of them.

This cream was later sold as something to reduce the signs of aging. It is now sold as something that will end the aging process, and is of course much more expensive.

What people are looking for is a way to live forever, and to look great forever, too.

On the surface, it sounds like this is what the Torah is offering.

In the Book of Deuteronomy God says, “I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse; therefore choose life, that thou may live, you and your descendants.”

If you look carefully, the choice is not life and blessing or death and curse. Everyone is going to have blessings and curses. There is no avoiding that. There are people who choose life even during the difficult moments. There are people who are so numb to the blessings in their life that they are like the living dead.

The Torah continues with a discussion of all those who are part of the covenant. The only people with specific jobs mentioned by name are the wood choppers and water carriers. They were not really great careers even then. No possibility of upward mobility. The job did not get any more interesting. It is important to notice, though, that what they did was still considered to beas valuable as what anyone else was doing, and just as deserving of honor, including honoring yourself. Everyone has something of value to contribute. Every moment in which you focus on doing the right thing and doing it well is a moment that is full and meaningful.

Choosing life does not mean you are not going to die, but that every moment can be filled with life and with good. When you truly live, you realize how much good there is. When you do not, it feels lifeless and meaningless.

It also means choosing life for future generations. It is a little scary knowing that their world may not be safe or easy. It means that it will be worth it. Holocaust survivors who started families, or started again with new families. They knew more than anyone how terrible the world could be, but they chose to create more life. Without their courage Judaism would have ended. Because of their courage, we have the strength to continue.

The Torah says the covenant is with “everyone who is standing together today.” Why did it have to say that? What does it matter whether they were standing or sitting? The idea is that we sometimes do not realize how many people really are standing with us if we let them, people who can help us truly live during the difficult parts of our journey. That is why the covenant was made with everyone. We can all help each other somehow to embrace life, to find meaning in times that are hard, and to not take for granted the moments of joy.

We have to stand together during the difficult parts of the journey. The ones who may not be standing with us at one point might stand with us when we really need them at another time. We might be the one they need someday when they feel they are standing alone.

This is why we come together on Rosh HaShana. You can pray anywhere. But we come to the synagogue to feel like we are not standing alone, that we are alive to every moment.

In these next few days, let’s think about how we can help those we treasure to live that journey with happiness and courage.

I was very fortunate to have some time off this summer. I was able to spend good times with friends and family. I also had some time to learn and reflect.

The most important thing I learned to do was breathe. This sounds kind of funny, because we all breathe every day without much training or effort. We cannot even hold our breath for long before our bodies force us to start again.

I learned to breathe in two different ways. The first is through some advanced meditative breathing techniques that I learned that could be applied to private prayer and meditation and would work pretty well during services, too. They have helped me focus on the power of the present moment in deep way. I will be discussing those techniques at my Sunday morning hamakOhm program, which is starting August 25^th.

The other kind of breathing I learned is a lot harder, but has been very helpful to me and how I react to things that happen in my life. I know that change is always occurring, and that nothing really stays the same. I should say that I knew it in my head, but my heart was lagging a bit.

The people that I love, both young, old, and in the middle, have been going through a lot of changes lately, mostly good, some not so good, but all inevitable and unstoppable and a natural part of life.

For some reason it just hit me hard. I wanted everything to just stop and be the way it has been, because when others changed, it meant I changed too.

They may have been ready, but I was not. It felt like it was hard to breathe.

My first reaction was to ignore it, and just say to myself, “Everyone goes through this, what is the big deal?” That did not work. Knowing that someone else faces the same thing does not really help lessen your feelings about your own situation.

Instead of turning away from what I was feeling, I sat with the feelings and embraced them. I realized I was lucky to have such wonderful people in my life to worry about, and feel nostalgic and sentimental about, and if they did not need me in the same way that they used to, they still needed me and wanted me to be a part of their lives. Things would be different, but they would be okay.

I also realized that I did not have to fix the difficult part of their lives, and that I couldn’t even if I wanted to. It is also possible that what I thought of as a difficulty for them was a challenge they wanted to face on their own, and that they just wanted my love and support and, often, my silence. We could love each other for just who we are at every moment.

This is when I started to breathe again. 

There has been an attempt over the last few years to put copies of the Ten Commandments in American public spaces, such as courtrooms. Aside from the challenge of Church and State separation issues, there is the matter of which version of the Ten Commandments to put up. The Catholic division of the Commandments is different from the Jewish and Protestant one. The Commandments were written in Hebrew, so there is the question of the appropriate translation. Perhaps most importantly, the Torah itself has two different versions. Though they are mostly alike, they do contain some fundamental differences.

The most significant variations are found in the Commandment about Shabbat, the sabbath. The version in the book of Exodus says, Remember the Shabbat…because God created the Heavens and the Earth. The version in our Torah portion, in the book of Deuteronomy, says, Guard the Shabbat…because you were a slave in Egypt and God brought you out of Egypt.

The first version, God the Creator, was given to the people right after they had left Egypt. Pharaoh thought he was a god and used that idea to terrorize the weak. This version reminds the people that no human being has supreme value over another. Even though the Israelites had been slaves, they needed to remember that they were created in the image of God and were entitled to full human rights.

The second version was given to them before entering into the Promised Land. The Jewish people were soon to be in power, and they needed to remember that they had once been powerless and that they needed to use their power to protect and care for the disenfranchised, not take advantage of them.

I believe this is why there are two different beginnings to the Commandments. Remember is more passive. Remember you are fully human. Guard is more active. Engage fully in helping those who need help to get the help that allows them to live in human dignity.

The Torah is not concerned with what we put on our walls, but what we put in our hearts. Remember that you are in God’s image. Guard that everyone else is treated that way, too.

I remember when my parent’s friends (not anyone reading this) would come back from vacation and insist on showing us their pictures. The first few were interesting. The next dozen were tolerable. The following several hundred were excruciating. We did not want to be rude, and tried to at least look like we were paying attention. The pictures were even worse if we had been to the places ourselves.

The entire first Torah portion of Deuteronomy is Moses’ travelogue on all the places the people had been in the wilderness. Didn’t Moses know how much this would aggravate them? Of course he did. That was the point.

Moses wanted the people to leave the wilderness and go into the Promised Land of Israel. He knew they did not want to leave the wilderness, because it had become comfortable to them. Their lives were dreary and mediocre, but they clung to them out of fear of the unknown. Moses needed to jolt them out of their complacency.

The description that Moses gave of their travels is relentless misery in each place they went. Their time in the wilderness was not necessarily all that bad. The people had been living on manna, which is like living on cream of wheat. Nutritious, but bland and uninspiring. They liked it, though, because they did not have to work for it. When they were in danger, God would fight their battles. Why did Moses want to push them out to a land that was strange and unfamiliar to them?

Moses understood that living in the wilderness is not living, it is not being truly alive. The wilderness is a metaphor for when we allow life to just happen to us. We make no decisions. We take no chances. We risk nothing and gain nothing. We settle for dull and average, and then wonder why we do not feel like ourselves, why we do not feel fully engaged in the world.

The Hebrew word for wilderness is midbar, which has the same root as to speak. The wilderness is when you say you are going to do things in your life, but just settle for talking instead of doing.

The Hebrew word for our Torah portion is Dvarim, which means words, but also deeds. It is an anagram for midbar, wilderness. Moses is telling the people, that if they do not take a chance, if they do not mix things up, they will miss their lives. 

There is no possibility, of course, of controlling what happens in our lives, and we certainly cannot control the outcomes of what we do. We can though, choose to live our lives with courage, without being held back by fear, by not settling for mediocrity.

Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Moses teaches us the unlived life is not worth examining.

By any measure this past week was very difficult, even by recent standards. I do not need to go into details, but we also have to remember all the people who suffered challenges on a smaller and more private scale. They tend to be overlooked during these times.

It is hard to know what to do. It might be even harder to know what to feel. We want to help, but we do not know where to start.

The two recent Torah readings give a powerful teaching on how to face tragedy.

In the portion called Acharie Mot, we are reminded of  The High Priest Aaron’s personal tragedy of losing two of his beloved sons. God had told him not to mourn publicly, which sounds very harsh, but it might also mean that God understood that was not what Aaron needed himself to face his grief.

God tells him to resume his work as Cohen Gadol, the high priest. Aaron is to prepare to offer sacrifices, which is discussed in a lot of detail.

There are two important things going on. One, God reminds Aaron that he is still a person, and a person who has much to offer. His tragedy did not have to steal his humanity. The other is that God understood that Aaron needed privacy and silence to work through his grief. This does not mean that this is for everyone, but that it was something Aaron, for who he was, needed.

This teaches us that there is not an official template of mourning that everyone must follow. There are traditions and practices which can be very helpful, but we have to make sure not to impose our own feelings of what works best or what we think is right for someone else. We have to help them find their way.

The following Torah reading, Kedoshim, is about creating a community that is compassionate and safe, which is one of the meanings of Kadosh, of holiness. The Torah demands that we find a way to protect those who are most vulnerable in society, economically or socially. It is not just altruism and for our own moral development. Things change quickly in this world and we may become the vulnerable ones ourselves. How many people begin their day thinking that it will be like every other day only to have their lives changed in a moment? A sacred society creates opportunities to help and is there when one needs the help. A giver today may need help tomorrow. A person who feels they have nothing to offer can become a hero in a moment if they are open.

I believe this model of a sacred community comes after the discussion of Aaron’s grief because it teaches us that we cannot help the community until we confront our own tragedies and challenges, but that also we cannot completely confront them on our own. We strengthen the community and the community strengthens us. This does not necessarily take away our pain, but it allows us to live fully within our humanity.

One of the most famous teachings of Hillel was his response to the person who wanted to learn Torah while standing on one foot. He said, “That which is hateful to you do not do to others.”  This is not about our own ego, or being hurt, it is knowing that we are capable of hurting others, we know what it is hateful to others, and we make an effort not to be hateful where we know it would hurt the most.

Instead, the approach to life is “Vahavta l’reicha kamocha, love your neighbor as yourself.”  The phrasing in Hebrew is slighty different from what one would expect and reveals a deep way of thinking about compassion. It should be vahavta et, not vahavta l’ reicha. It does not mean that you like your neighbor, but that you are sending them thoughts of compassion. We recognize that everyone suffers, and that everyone could benefit from kind thoughts. Thisd oes not mean approval of destructive actions. Everyone who causes harm needs to be accountable. I think this means that we have to remember that despite our grief we are always capable of love. We can still be kamocha, like ourselves at all times.

The bad guys win when we forget who we are. That is what they want. They attack us with the everyday products of our lives. Who will ever look at a pressure cooker the same way?

There will never be an end to those who try to bring terror to the world, but if we remember that there are always more people who try to help than there are those who try to harm, we can stand together in our fear and in our grief and block the darkness with the light of our souls.

Every Friday afternoon in Jerusalem a siren goes off to let people know that Shabbat is soon starting, and that they should complete their preparations. It is a pretty happy sound, signaling twenty five hours of peacefullness and rest.

Last Friday the siren rang earlier. It was a warning that missiles were on their way. The missiles themselves did not land in Jerusalem itself, but they did create anxiety over what might happen in the future.

These rockets have been pounding the south of Israel for years. They are starting to reach more and more of the country in attempt to get the Israelis to want to abandon the land and go elsewhere. The Israelis are not leaving.

The story of Isaac in the Torah teaches us a great deal about the Jewish spirit and the Land of Israel.

Isaac has a number of good qualities, but today, the most important is that he never left Israel, even during tough times,and during morally challenging times. He does not leave during times of famine or threats by neighboring peoples. He stays and makes the most of his life there.

Like Isaac, the Jewish people never left Israel, even during thousands of years of exile and humiliation by those we were forced to live under.

Three times a day we pray for Jerusalem rebuilt.

Every meal on Shabbat and holidays we sing shir hamaalot. Upon the return to Zion from Exile we will be like dreamers.

It made no sense to do so. We were scattered around the world, and powerless. We made enough contributions to each society to justify our existence for at least a while, but we were never considered significant. We stayed a people in our hearts even though most Jews would never see any communities outside of their own.

If you had read the story of the rise of Zionism among secular Jews, and the establishment of a state after the Holocaust, and a society created by Jews from all over the world with different languages and customs, you would have said it was fantasy.

But as Herzl said, if you have will, it is not a fantasy. The Jewish people never left Israel, even those who never lived there, even those who could not visit.

November of 1938 was kristallnacht. By November of 1947, the United Nations declared its intention that there be a Jewish state and an Arab state in the land known as Palestine. The Jews accepted and have created one of the great social experiments of all time.

It was easy for Jews to feel united outside of Israel. When we were scattered all over we did not really have to interact. Feeling united in the same land is much more challening.

Israel could have been a disaster. There were numerous different languages, religious and cultural traditions, and political differences. There were acute agricultural and military needs to be filled by a people with little experience in either. Somehow it worked.

There is still a great deal of work to be done. There are the obvious external threats. But the internal ones may be just as important in the long run. Integrating the Charedi into the mainstreams of Israeli, while respecting their personal lifestyles.  The future of the military and of technology depend on their entering into Israeli society.

Also, there has to be genuine respect for all the ways people can be Jewish. There can be no more arrests of women wearing a tallit at the kotel. The kotel belongs to the Jewish people, not just one group.

We have to look at what it means to be democratic and Jewish, especially for Israel’s very large population of Muslims, Druze and Christians. Loyalty has to work both ways.

I think it is important to raise issues that we believe are critical to the future of Israel, but  Israel’s having a future should never be debated. It is a legal country as voted by the United Nations, and the only one who lives with constant threat of its destruction by other members of the United Nations.

Amazingly, Israelis say on average they are happier than many people who live in far safer and secure places in the world. They believe their lives truly have meaning and purpose. They are part of project that maybe someday the world will appreciate.

We are part of that project, too. Some of us will live there someday, but most will not. Many will visit, and some will not be so fortunate. But we can keep Israel in our thoughts and prayers, and at least try to understand what is happening there, and how different the world would have been a hundred years ago if there had been an Israel then, and how extraordinary it is that we have it now. Let us make sure that we are like Isaac, and that we never leave Israel.

Here is my sermon on Forgiveness from Yom Kippur. It should be pretty clear, but it is more in outline form than a formal essay.

Great English poet, Bernard John Taupin wrote

It’s sad, so sad

It’s a sad, sad situation

And it’s getting more and more absurd

It’s sad, so sad

Why can’t we talk it over

Oh it seems to me

That sorry seems to be the hardest word

These words were later set to music by Sir Reginald Dwight (Elton John).

I think they are mostly true. The only thing harder is giving forgiveness.

Most other holidays, you can just enjoy the holiday, and you are not obligated to work on the relationship or talk about painful things. Passover even comes with a script. The script does not say, “Oh, another matzaball? Do you really need it?”.  Stick with the script, and no one gets their feelings hurt.

This is what makes Yom Kippur the hardest holiday. Not the fasting. It is the honest and open thoughts and feelings  that must be shared with love and compassion, with others and ourselves.

I want to talk about the barriers to asking for forgiveness, and for giving it.

First, benefits of forgiveness.

No promises or guarantees, but there are definite benefits.

According to Duke University, Univ. of Tennessee, and Stanford University, “Holding onto hurts, grudges, annoyances, pet peeves or old wounds hurts the body, especially when the memories are triggered by current life events.”

Rabbi David Teutsch said,  “We might be willing to forgive for the sake of others, but if not, we should be willing to do it for our own. Resentment, grudge-bearing and antique anger contaminate our lives. Forgiving those who have wronged me allows me to jettison the pollutants of my soul.”

Let me define the Hebrew words for forgiveness.

Mechilah means that you are sorry for whatever harm you may have caused someone even if neither one of you are particularly aware of what happened, because being in a relationship with someone else guarantees that at some point you are going to aggravate each other, often without intending to. If it is with intention to you have larger issues. Mechilah is to help us through the normal day to day parts of a relationship.

Selicha- you know what you did, and you ask for forgiveness for that specific thing. Or you found out what you did, and you ask forgiveness.

Each of these still contain some lingering resentment. It is hard to forget completely, nor is it a good idea sometimes to forget.

The third type of forgiveness is only available to God. Kappara, complete absolution. Yom Kippur. Only God does not have lingering hurts. God knows us and judges us as individuals, not as the ideal we sometime judge those around us. Kappara here only refers to issues in the relationship with God, not with others.

I want to focus today on issues of forgiveness between peope.

What are the barriers to asking for forgiveness?

1-you might not want to, because you think the other person owes you an apology, too.

2-it might be rejected

3-you can’t stop the destructive thing you are doing-whether it is abusing a loved one, or gambling or substance abuse.

4-you do not want to admit that you are not perfect, or that your relationships are not perfect.

5- You do not feel you did anything wrong, and that the person is oversensitive, or that it was an accident. “What did I say so bad?”

6-you do not feel you are worthy of forgiveness.

7-you don’t know where they are anymore.

8-they are no longer here, because of dementia and would not understand you.

9-they have passed away.

Asking for forgiveness takes tremendous courage and willingness to lower our defenses and be vulnerable.

If you feel the other person has wronged you, too, then say so, but extend yourself first and acknowledge that the person has harmed you, too. This may not go the way you wanted, but at least you tried to do the right thing.

If you are doing harmful behaviors and are acting in abusive manner, whether physically or verbally, and cannot stop on your own, you have a moral obligation to get help. There is are a large number of resources in the community. Call Jewish Family Services. Everything is anonymous and they can point you in the right direction.

We also have to let go of our fantasies about what a relationship is supposed to be. As Jack Kornfield said, “The past is over. Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past.”

All relationships are messy and imperfect. Asking for forgiveness destroys the illusion of perfection, which is a good, and allows us to live in the real world with each other, which is ultimately healthier and happier.

What do you do if you feel unworthy of forgiveness? Make sure you are not causing harm anymore. Recognize that you still have a soul that is pure and that you can always become a better person. That is the point of Yom Kippur.

The Prophet Ezekiel said, “Cast away from you all your transgressions, in which you have transgressed; and make for yourselves a new heart and a new spirit;  therefore turn, and live.”

The person you harmed may not forgive at first, maybe not every, but you can still live a valuable life, just not the one you thought.

What to do when the person is not there, in any sense of the word? There is no completely satisfying solution, but we can do more acts of kindness and charity in honor of their memory, and that if they knew how sincere we were about changing and doing better, they would have forgiven us. Acknowledge we are doing the best you can, and that we cannot undo history. You can only create a better present. Otherwise, we will never get on with our lives, and will probably continue destructive behaviors.

This is all part of forgiving ourselves, as well. As Jack Kornfield said,

“Finding a way to extend forgiveness to ourselves is one of our most essential tasks. Just as others have been caught in suffering, so have we. If we look honestly at our life, we can see the sorrows and pain that have led to our own wrongdoing. In this we can finally extend forgiveness to ourselves; we can hold the pain we have caused in compassion. Without such mercy, we will live our own life in exile.”

As hard as it is to ask for forgiveness, giving it is harder.

Here are some of the barriers

1-The person is continuing to hurt you. You do not have to forgive this person even if they ask for forgiveness and then continue to hurt you.

Mishnah, Yoma 85b, indicates,

If one says, “I shall sin and repent, sin and repent,” no opportunity will be given to him to repent. [If one says], “I shall sin and the Day of Atonement will procure atonement for me,” the Day of Atonement procures for him no atonement.

2-Forgiving says the behavior was okay or that we are okay.

3-the person does not want forgiveness. There is no obligation to give it, but we will talk about what to do about some of the bitterness.

It is critical to remember,  that Forgiving is not condoning. It is not getting over it. The damage was real. The pain was real. Forgiveness is about freeing us to live our own lives and not to be controlled by the pain caused us.

There is no obligation to continue the relationship. Forgiveness might be the perfect way to end the relationship. You caused me harm, I believe you regret it and are taking real steps to change. “I wish you well in your life, but will no longer be a part of it.”

4-we don’t want to admit some responsibility. This is not about blaming the victim, but taking a look within ourselves if we did something to hurt the person who is now hurting us.

5-The person who you are angry at may not be the person who caused you harm. I see so many people in relationships who are angry and disappointed with each other, but the real problems may be unresolved issues from childhood. We are mad at a spouse for not being the parent or sibling we wanted. The problem can only be solved by looking into our past and trying to reconcile what happened. Even just an awareness that we are still suffering from hurts of the past can help us with the people in our lives today.

5-The person did something unforgivable. There may be some behaviors that cannot be forgiven, not at least anytime soon.

What do you do? Instead of forgiveness, you could try a form of compassion that says that people who harm tend to be in great pain. Not to excuse, but to understand, and to hope they can live without the pain that is causing them to do destructive things. It is a way of giving up the anger and hatred that is within you that is probably harming other relationships.You still have to defend yourself and take care of yourself, but you will make your decisions with more compassion and less harm, usually leading to a better decision.

I think that the ability to let go of hatred toward those who have harmed us is critical to the survival of the Jewish people and the state of israel. If we held a grudge against everyone who insulted us or harmed us we would not have time in the day for anything else.

We would be right, but we would be irrelevant, maybe even absent from history.

Just look at Israel’s relationship with Germany. No country ever insulted us more, or did more damage or got people to harm us. Today, Germany is Israel’s number two trade partner after America, and has been important in advocating for Israel in Europe. It might be guilt, but it also might be the Jewish people’s ability to go on after tragedy. If someone had hurt me that terribly, and I had an army and an air force, I am not sure my thought would have been trade.

There will only be peace when each people gets past its own hurt, its own feeling of pain, and look at the other as also being created in God’s image.

Israel has its flaws, such as any other country, but it does try to make up with those it has harmed both within and outside its borders. Israel’s process is not perfect, but it is the best one in the area. I hope we are seeing the birth pangs of that process coming to the region. That is why the national anthem of Israel is called Hope, hatikvah, not current reality.

Let me say one word about forgiveness and the holocaust. You cannot forgive those who did not harm you. Only the victims can forgive. Also, the Nazis never asked for forgiveness, so none was necessary to give to them. Anyone alive today, with a few exceptions, had nothing to do with it, and therefore do not need to apologize on behalf of their ancestors. They do have an obligation to make sure it never happens again.

The Jewish day starts with gratitude, but it ends with forgiveness. This is from the bed time shema.

“I hereby forgive everyone and everything, Let no one suffer because of me.

(Master of the universe, I hereby forgive anyone who angered or antagonized me whether through speech, deed, thought, or notion. May no one be punished because of me. May it will be Your will,  my God and the God of my ancestors, that I cause no more harm. May the expressions of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart find favor.”

When we find a way to genuinely seek forgiveness, when we forgive ourselves and all those who genuinely want our forgiveness, we cause our hearts to lighten from their burden and to live more freely and openly. Our relationships with everyone will be better because we do not live with bitterness or anger. As Ezekiel said, we can have a new heart and a new spirit. We can be free to live our lives fully in happiness and ease.

These are the notes from my sermon on Rosh Hashana on happiness. They are not really in essay form, because I like to talk instead of speak, which is a little more formal. I think they might be useful and give the main ideas. Please feel free to share them.

If you have any questions please let me know.

Last November I attended Northwestern University Kellogg School of Management seminar for Jewish non-profits.

Most of the Professors were not Jewish. One asked what Jews want from Judaism. I offered an answer. I said people want to be happy. Most colleagues disagreed strongly. I was surprised, but knew I had a rosh hashana sermon.

Best reason to live Jewishly is because it can make you happy. Or at least happier. Otherwise there is really no point.

Rabbi Nachman said, -Mitzvah gedola lhiyot bsimcha. It is a great precept to find a way to be in a state of happiness.

Psalm 100 says that we connect most spirituality when we approach life in happiness.

Word for happiness is in Hebrew is simcha, which means happiness despite what is going on, not because of. It is an inner sense of well being not dependent on anything else. Not about fun or the pursuit of pleasure, though Judaism believes these things are important, too. It is not about getting what you want when you want it. It is about understanding that the world is what it is, and though we can try to make it better, we cannot fix or change everything.

It is about finding something to celebrate everyday, no matter how small a thing that may be.

Judaism cares more about the small everyday thing, than the big occasional event.

Reasons for people not being happy

1-knein a hora, poo poo poo theory. “Keep away the evil eye.” We are so afraid of losing what we have, we do not enjoy life as full as we could. Instead, when you have something good in your lifetry to think good thoughts about others, and that good should come to them.

2-Pain, sometimes physical and chronic pain. Pain of loss. Pain of not getting things to be exactly the way you want them to be. The pain of getting what you want, but not being able to hold on to it or keep it from changing.

3-Hollowness and emptiness- a whole in our heart, lack of self worth. The feeling of being ignored.

Being unhappy can have devastating consequences for ourselves, our loved ones and the people around us. These feelings cause us to be angry and judgmental, and when we are we cannot be happy.

No one who is happy and feeling in balance says to themselves, how can I mess this up for myself and my family.

We do very destructive things to end the pain or fill the hollowness.

Alcohol, drugs, gambling. I was lucky that I never found substances appealing, and I lost a week’s salary in 3 card monte game in high school, so I don’t find gambling appealing. But Food. Food. It’s everywhere. They sell it to kids. Even in school.

Before I continue, Let me say a word about others in our lives who may be unhappy. There is not much you can do. They are not unhappy about anything, they are just unhappy and looking for excuses. This is important to remember during time of family simchas, like weddings and bar and bat mitzvahs. Obligation of guest to make celebrants happy, not obligation of celebrants to make guests happy. Unhappy people will have plenty of chances to be unhappy. Each simcha is once in a life time for the person.

You might be pleasantly surprised how much nicer people are when you act a little happier.

Judaism provides a way to approach life in a happier and better way. This happiness is a fundamental and indispensable part of Judaism and can help with the pain and the loneliness.

I think it is the only reason God created us. Parents don’t have children to make them miserable. At least not at first. God is our parent and has given us the potential to be happy. Whether we choose to is up to us.

I am going to take you through a Jewish day and to the end of the week to show that Jewish living is structured to make us happier and feel better about our lives, no matter what.

The rituals and ideas were created when the world was just as terrible place as it is today. Our sages were not naïve, but refused to give in to the misery around. They believed their joy could change the world for the better. We are descended from them.

Modeh ani- I thank, therefor I am. Grateful for being alive, with the opportunity to do good during the day. Amazing that we get to be a person. If grandpa misses the boat to ellis island, or a caveman had a bad day with a saber tooth tiger, maybe some of you are not here.

Asher yatzer-awareness of our body, and how much goes right even when things are not perfect or are starting to fall apart. It is not just the spirit that starts to sag a little. It is also an acknowledgement of new normals in our life and how we can adjust to them, not easily or comfortably, but often well.

A woman with cancer when she started really paying attention to her body realized all the places that she was not sick, that she was well. She was not sick. There was sickness in her body.

We may have to let others take care of us, and be happy that we are giving them a chance to do a mitzvah. This is very hard when we are used to being the helper, but it may help us handle these things in a better way.

Elohai neshama, The soul within me is pure. There is no such thing as a tainted our impure soul, only bad actions. No accidental souls. No one is an accident. Maybe a surprise, but indispensable.

Torah blessings. Laasok bdivrei torah. To involve ourselves in living a deep and spiritual life.

Uniting physical and spiritual, making body and soul friends.  Reminder that we are here to do good things for others, which means we are always needed. The purpose of a mitzvah is a reminder of how much the world needs our unique abilities and gifts. That is why our tradition says, schar mitzvah mitzvah, the reward of having done a good thing is the opportunity to do another. We always have value no matter what.

One of the biggest causes of depression outside of clinical causes is a sense that we are not needed. The concept of mitzvah means we are always needed, and just for who we are. We only need to be ourselves to be of infinite worth.

Shema-If you stop and listen, you will hear that all things are connected and you are part of that connection. We feel alienated and disconnected from the world. Shema says if we pay attention, we will realize we are part of the infinite potential of the universe, and that we have a place in it. We are not strangers in a strange world, but full citizens of it.

First paragraph of shema says, anochi mitzavcha hayom. It is not that I command you on this day, but that the command itself is TODAY! Live your life fully today. The past is gone and the future is unknown. Living in either of those states is guaranteed to make you unhappy. Happiness is only possible if you are living today.

Amidah-private prayer. We are thankful for our gifts and abilities, and think about how we can bring peace and well being to others. All others in the world, not just people we like, but people we do not know, or do not like.

We should always include something personal, not just the words in the book.

Sylvia Boorstein said her prayer is may I meet each moment fully and may I meet it as a friend.

Enough prayer. Let’s talk about food.

Blessings over food. Pretty specific. It is to get away from same old same old. You may have had a tuna sandwich for lunch a million times, and maybe you will a million more, but the blessing is the realization that you never had that specific one, and never will again. Realizing the uniqueness of the moment will make it a much happier experience. A reminder to pay attention as we eat. We will eat more slowly, enjoy it more and maybe make better decisions.

This fall at the synagogue we are introducing the Lchayim project. Becoming better friends with our bodies and what we eat.

Thoughts for the workday. The chassidic rabbis said that serving others as best we could was something we should feel happy about. No matter what we do, we can make someone’s day better. Even if we think kind thoughts toward them, we can make them a little happier.

Driving to work-think compassionate thoughts. Probably not true, but you will be less angry and aggravated.

Six days a week, we are happy because of the great things we can do for others in making the world better. This is called the joy of the mitzvah. Doing these precepts makes us happier, even if we just do one.

Shabbat though, is simcha shel chelek. The joy that comes from who we are right now, and what we have in our lives right now. As a great master said, there is  no where to go, nothing to do, no one to be. For twenty five hours we and the world are perfect and whole. Those we love are perfect and whole. They don’t need advice or to be changed. We are simply happy in our perfection. Shabbat shalom, the peaceful feeling that comes from wholeness.

End of shabbat is maybe the most important part. We take that feeling of wholeness into the week.

Symbolized by havdallah. We hold our hands to the light to remind us that we are made of light, that the light of our souls is our true self, and that soul is pure. Midrash about light and skin.

At havdallah, we say, lyehudim hayata ora vimcha. That we had light and joy. We say this at the end of shabbat to remind us that happiness and joy is what God wants for us all the time, if we just allowed it to happen.

I know there are people going through very difficult times, and there are times when we must mourn, or be angry in our grief. But most of life is an opportunity for happiness.

Rabbi Alan Lew in his book Be Still and Get Going talked about a teaching of Rabbi Joseph Soloveitchik. We often now talk about the good old days as though they really weren’t that great, and that we are just nostalgic.

Soloveitchik said that those days really were that great, but that we just do not notice them until they have passed.

Study at Alyn hospital about happiness. It turns out that the patients in the hospital had about the same level of happiness as their care givers. The single determining factor  is whether the person felt valued.

I believe the purpose of Judaism is to make us realize that all of us have great value, and that every day we live can be that great and that we can be happy if we pay attention to the endless opportunities we have to help others, and the endless moments of joy we can have in what we have when we pay attention.

There will never be a better day than today. Until tomorrow. I wish us all a year of joyous and happy todays.

In 1913 Marcel Duchamp attached a bicycle wheel to a stool. He was not making a new kind of unicycle, but a piece of art, one the first classics of Modern art. He saw something interesting in everyday items and put them together as they were and created something new. What he did is still kind of controversial idea. Is it real art?

The history of art until that point was to take materials and completely transform them into the artist’s vision. A sculpture was judged on how much it looked like a person, not a piece of marble. Duchamp and others, like Picasso, said that a thing in and of itself can be beautiful, especially when combined with other things that are also just themselves.

God in the Torah starts as a traditional artist, and creates human beings out the earth and molds them into a specific vision.

If you have read the rest of the book, God’s attempt at molding does not go well. God cannot even get people to eat from the right tree, or to not throw each other in pits when they get jealous and angry. Things are going to be what they are, no matter how hard you try to change them.

Toward the end of the Torah, God becomes a modern artist.

The people are told that when they cross the river into the Promised land they are to build an altar of thanksgiving out of the stones they find. They are not allowed to carve or transform the stones, but put them together in a way that all the different shapes will fit together and create something even greater than they were by themselves.

I think this means that God wants us to appreciate each other for who we are, and to help each other find our place in the world that makes sense for ourselves as individuals but also allows each person to be a part of the community and support all the other individuals.

So much stress in the world comes from people molding and bending each other in ways that are wrong or painful for them. The model of so many approaches to religion has been to force conformity through threats of violence, or expulsion from the community.

Bad for the person. Worse for religion. Destroys creativity and critical thinking. Crushes healthy diversity of thought. Leads to tremendous hatred.
We do not have to look any further than 9/11 for an example of people trying to mold the world into their own exclusive image.

One of the underlying tensions and challenges is creating a community that is not based on coercion, but one that is not jut based on whatever an individual wants to do. Essentially, how do we create a genuine community of individuals. When people feel rejected for who they are in their essence they feel hated, regardless of intention. They are then in danger of causing great harm, mostly to themselves, but sometimes to others.

I think this is the challenge for all religions and philosophies, meaning it is a challenge for us. For most of our history, every day Jews did not have a say in their religious lives. If they did not conform to the communal standards they could be literally forced out, but if they molded their behavior to fit someone else, they would become exiles from their own souls.

I have faith in the beauty and power of our traditions and I have faith in the goodwill of our people, including those who come to radically different ideas about Judaism that I might have, in either direction, more liberal or more conservative. Some ideas will be great. Some will be terrible.

If we are open minded, new ideas will emerge that will become the traditions of tomorrow. That is how tradition starts, and it is the only way to remain eternally relevant. It is the only path to a peaceful world.

This is an important idea in how we look to each other. We want so badly for our loved ones to succeed that we push them in certain directions, or pull them away from others. We think we are sculpting something beautiful, but we might just be chipping away their identity and sense of security and worth.

The Torah is telling us that each person is perfect the way they are, they just need to be in a situation where they are appreciated, and what they have to offer can be used for the good of the whole community.

My goal is to help you find your place in the Jewish world, in a way that makes sense for who you are right now. I won’t try to mold you into something that you are not, but I can help you figure out where you fit. I would love to talk to you about it.

If we can all help each other, then we create the work of art that God wants for us.