Rabbi Aaron Bergman's Blog

In 1913 Marcel Duchamp attached a bicycle wheel to a stool. He was not making a new kind of unicycle, but a piece of art, one the first classics of Modern art. He saw something interesting in everyday items and put them together as they were and created something new. What he did is still kind of controversial idea. Is it real art?

The history of art until that point was to take materials and completely transform them into the artist’s vision. A sculpture was judged on how much it looked like a person, not a piece of marble. Duchamp and others, like Picasso, said that a thing in and of itself can be beautiful, especially when combined with other things that are also just themselves.

God in the Torah starts as a traditional artist, and creates human beings out the earth and molds them into a specific vision.

If you have read the rest of the book, God’s attempt at molding does not go well. God cannot even get people to eat from the right tree, or to not throw each other in pits when they get jealous and angry. Things are going to be what they are, no matter how hard you try to change them.

Toward the end of the Torah, God becomes a modern artist.

The people are told that when they cross the river into the Promised land they are to build an altar of thanksgiving out of the stones they find. They are not allowed to carve or transform the stones, but put them together in a way that all the different shapes will fit together and create something even greater than they were by themselves.

I think this means that God wants us to appreciate each other for who we are, and to help each other find our place in the world that makes sense for ourselves as individuals but also allows each person to be a part of the community and support all the other individuals.

So much stress in the world comes from people molding and bending each other in ways that are wrong or painful for them. The model of so many approaches to religion has been to force conformity through threats of violence, or expulsion from the community.

Bad for the person. Worse for religion. Destroys creativity and critical thinking. Crushes healthy diversity of thought. Leads to tremendous hatred.
We do not have to look any further than 9/11 for an example of people trying to mold the world into their own exclusive image.

One of the underlying tensions and challenges is creating a community that is not based on coercion, but one that is not jut based on whatever an individual wants to do. Essentially, how do we create a genuine community of individuals. When people feel rejected for who they are in their essence they feel hated, regardless of intention. They are then in danger of causing great harm, mostly to themselves, but sometimes to others.

I think this is the challenge for all religions and philosophies, meaning it is a challenge for us. For most of our history, every day Jews did not have a say in their religious lives. If they did not conform to the communal standards they could be literally forced out, but if they molded their behavior to fit someone else, they would become exiles from their own souls.

I have faith in the beauty and power of our traditions and I have faith in the goodwill of our people, including those who come to radically different ideas about Judaism that I might have, in either direction, more liberal or more conservative. Some ideas will be great. Some will be terrible.

If we are open minded, new ideas will emerge that will become the traditions of tomorrow. That is how tradition starts, and it is the only way to remain eternally relevant. It is the only path to a peaceful world.

This is an important idea in how we look to each other. We want so badly for our loved ones to succeed that we push them in certain directions, or pull them away from others. We think we are sculpting something beautiful, but we might just be chipping away their identity and sense of security and worth.

The Torah is telling us that each person is perfect the way they are, they just need to be in a situation where they are appreciated, and what they have to offer can be used for the good of the whole community.

My goal is to help you find your place in the Jewish world, in a way that makes sense for who you are right now. I won’t try to mold you into something that you are not, but I can help you figure out where you fit. I would love to talk to you about it.

If we can all help each other, then we create the work of art that God wants for us.

 

 

I have been fortunate to have attended a lot of graduation ceremonies lately. They are wonderful events, but I always feel bad for the adult keynote speakers. Everyone just wants to see their own child get the diploma and throw his or her hat in the air.

 

A lot of these speakers are very inspiring and talk about how to achieve success in the future, and not just financial, but emotional success, too. They emphasize that, if you try hard enough, things will be fine and everything will work out in the long run the way you want.

 

This is why Moses has never been invited to give a commencement speech. Even if he were alive today, he would likely not be invited. His message, at least on the surface, is not quite as reassuring as we expect a graduation speaker to be.

 

Moses understood that life may never work it out the way we want it to, or think it will. Life is potentially filled with unresolved disappointments and failures. What makes Moses great, is that he teaches us how to handle all of our potential frustrations in a healthy and life affirming manner.

 

In the Torah, Moses sends the leaders to check out the land that the whole people were to someday enter. The leaders bring back a scary and disheartening report. The land was filled with giants, and not the friendly kind. The people panic and say that they are afraid to go forward. They felt they were better off as slaves in Egypt. God then tells them that they will not enter the promised land, and will live the rest of their lives in the wilderness, and someday die there.

 

The people ask for another chance, but God knows they will never be able to handle what it will take to go into the land.

 

The people are frustrated and terrified that their lives are now meaningless because they will never achieve the success for which they were brought out of Egypt.

Instead of telling the people not to worry, Moses does something he interesting. He does not tell them not to worry. He does not tell them things will work out the way they want. He does not tell them they can still make it to the promised land. He tells them the rules of sacrifice that are to be followed in the promised land. He describes all the great things the people that will make it into the promised land will do. This is not cruelty or taunting. It is to remind them that their lives still have purpose even if things did not work out.

 

They are to live their lives in the wilderness without bitterness and jealousy and without taking it out on the next generation. Their job is to help the next generation. It is to teach about perseverance even when you know you will not get exactly what you want.

 

This is important for us, because we live in a goal obsessed society, where we measure our worth by achievement, not by the quality of our moral character or our compassion. Moses tells us we may fail in our goals, but we do not have to be failures as human beings. We have much to offer in all aspects of our lives, even in the broken and imperfect ones.

 

Moses may not have made a great commencement speaker, but he was responsible for making sure we can still live meaningful and valuable lives even if we never get out of the wilderness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My first and greatest theatrical performance was as a tree in the Einstein elementary school production of Where the Wild Things Are, though it was the only time the phrase wooden was used as a compliment for my performance. Little did I know that the book our play was based on was already being banned in many communities around the country, and is still not quite universally accepted.

Where the Wild Things Are became one of my all time favorite books, and Maurice Sendak became one of my favorite authors, not just favorite children’s book author. I would like to share why I loved him and his books so much, never more so than when I became an adult and a teacher and a father myself.

Let me review the plot of book for a moment and then share why the book was banned and then I will tell you why I think it was really banned.

It takes place in a very small and cramped apartment in what seems like a very modest section of Brooklyn, where Sendak grew up as the son of refugees from Poland.

 Max is a little boy with a great deal of energy. His mother asks him to be quiet. He refuses.

His mother sends him to his room, which is very small. The room becomes a magical forest, and a boat appears. He takes the boat to the land where the wild things are.

They seem quiet scary and try to frighten him. He refuses to be afraid. They make him their king, and he makes them his friend. A wild rumpus ensues. Max eventually becomes homesick and wants to go back. The boat reappears and takes him back to his room, which is not only much bigger, but has a nice warm meal that his mother left for him.

The main reason offered by those who banned this book was that it was too scary for kids. If you have ever read your average Grimm fairy tale you will immediately understand that this excuse was nonsense.

There are two real reasons the book was banned. The first is that when Max mouthed off to his mother, she did not smack him, as would have been expected when the book came out in the early sixties, but she stayed calm and gave him a time out. She even acted lovingly toward him before he apologized for his behavior. This may not sound like such a big deal now, but it was radical at the time and was seen to be undermining parental discipline. Unfortunately, for a lot of children, their houses are still pretty scary places.

This brings me to the second reason for the ban. The purpose of fear in stories up until that point was to intimidate children into proper and docile behavior. The message to children was that as long as you behave perfectly, nothing bad will happen to you, but if you misbehave terrible things will happen. Not a good way to go through life. This was the basis for a lot of religion, too.

Sendak was banned because he refused to tell children that there was nothing to be afraid of if they behaved perfectly at all times and he would not say that they did not have to worry about anything unless they misbehaved. Children know that the world is scary often for no reason. Sendak validated many children’s real concerns and told them that you could face that fear with courage and humor and still stay yourself, though a bit wiser.

Maurice Sendak was one of the first authors to really see children as people. They were far from perfect, but they were worthy of having their inner lives respected. He said, “I find children on the whole more direct and honest, but being a child doesn’t automatically make you superior. Although usually it does. On the whole, children are better and more touching. They aren’t racists and liars… If we don’t look, and if we don’t listen, and if we don’t do something, kids will be lost.”

Sendak helped me raise my own wonderful children to face the wild things in their lives, and someday, to have children of their own running around in wolf suits, eating meals that are still hot, and living where someone loves them best of all. Rest in peace, Maurice, and thank you.

Shmini 2012

 

One of the most painful and challenging stories in the Torah is that of strange death of the sons of Aaron, the High Priest.

 

Aaron’s role was to bring sacrifices on behalf of the people. He would wear special clothes, and carefully and precisely make the offering. His sons, Nadav and Avihu bring a burnt offering on their own, without being asked.

 

They were literally playing with fire. Their actions do not end well. A fire consumes them.

 

Why they died has been debated. Some blame them for doing something they had no permission to do. Others say it was just the tragic, but accidental result of people trying to do something they were not trained or qualified to do.

 

I want to focus on what happens after. God tells Aaron not to mourn, but to return to his duties. The people would mourn instead.

 

This sounds cruel, but I think it might be kind on God’s part.

 

God is telling Aaron and the people that Aaron was not at fault about his sons, and that he is still qualified to be a leader and fulfill his duties. The people should realize that Aaron is human and in need of comfort from his people. God does not want Aaron to hide in grief or shame.

 

We often blame ourselves for the behavior of others, particularly family, when something bad happens. We go from feeling bad to feeling responsible to blaming ourselves.

 

The Torah is saying that a lot of people, including our loved ones, do destructive things to others and to themselves, but that it is not our fault. We can try to help as much as we can, but ultimately the ones who cause the harm are responsible for their actions.

 

We are entitled to live our own lives. We do not have to sacrifice who we are because of the decisions of others. We do not have to make our selves a victim.

 

It also means we have to let other people help us. Aaron may have sealed himself off from the people. God wanted him among the people because he knew that Aaron’s sorrow could only be healed if he allowed others in, instead of trying to solve all his problems himself.

 

We read this story between Passover and Shavuot, the giving of the Torah. God is telling us that real liberation can only begin when we stop blaming ourselves for the bad decisions of others. We must realize we can try to make things better, but that we cannot fix everything, and that we are entitled to live our own lives. Only then will there be room in our hearts for the wisdom and compassion that God wants for us.